Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Love... And the Related Topics

Love. I may be a person who does not talk about this kind of topics. But hey, I can talk about love. I had experienced it. I received and gave it so many times. Let me first tell you about my view on love. The greatest example of true love is what Jesus did. Leaving His position to save His chosen ones. He was willing to sacrifice everything even His life.
True love for me is loving a person for who he or she is. Accepting his or her weaknesses and that it is unconditional. Saying I love you is not like "I love you because....", "I love you if...." or "I love you but...." but saying I love you is like "I love you." Period. As I've said before, unconditional.
"If you haven't experience love, then how can you give it." One of my father's best sermon, for me, is his sermon on love. You can not give what you do not have. That is what he said in his sermon. Just like love, you can not love if you haven't been loved. What can be more greater than God's love? That is true love. If you haven't experienced it then you cannot completely love. And you cannot give more than the love you experienced but rather maybe you will give less than what you experienced. You must feel love first, one way or another.
As I Corinthians 13:4-7 said "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". I love these verses. It gives the true meaning of love. It tells what are the fruits of love. Compare this verse to what you feel. See if you really love somebody. Your family. Your parents. Your siblings. Your friends. That special someone.
How about love on the opposite sex? Yeah, I love my female friends. But love is different from falling in love. In Filipino, "Pagmamahal" is different from "Pag-ibig". You ask me.... did I ever fell in love with someone. My answer is maybe. I am not so sure. I have "fallen in love" two times already. I do not know if it is real. In this early stage you will never know if it is real. That is why you must wait before making a big move. Do not make any conclusions yet. Time may come when you will be sure if it is true love. Maybe what you are feeling now is not really true love, but it may become true love if you wait.
Is it okay to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Well, it depends. For me, it is okay. But who am I to decide. Ask your parents. For me, it is okay. As long as you love that person and that your relationship is God-centered. Maybe that love will grow. Maybe not. But hey, as long as you will not commit sin there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you will not neglect your responsibilities, obligations and priorities it is okay. Your girlfriend or boyfriend should serve only as your inspiration and strength. He or she must not become a liability. The only disadvantage of it is discovering you are not for each other. It may cause a lot of heartbreak. My advice is not to limit yourself to one person. Meet other persons. If you find a person that you think you are in love to, wait and do not make moves yet. Just make actions that shows she (or he) is special than the others. Yes, waiting is hard. But love is patient and persevering. If the time is right, tell your feelings and make the move. Waiting is important. The longer, the better (but not that long :) ). Both parties should know that. It's a test if you are really in love or it is mere infatuation. But having a girlfriend or boyfriend is up to your beloved parents. They know best. If they say, "No!" then obey them. If they say you have to break up with him or her, obey them. It may be hard, but it pays off to obey. Its all up to your parents. Show them you can obey them and be responsible. Show them you love them too and willing to obey. Maybe they will understand that you are really capable of loving. And of course, pray for it. Ask God for His will to happen. God may want you to have a relationship now or not yet. Just and pray for guidance. It will surely pay off.
Waiting is part of love. You wait to get to know the person very well. You wait to get close to a person. You wait for the right time to tell your feelings. You wait when you are waiting for the girl's answer. Or if you are a girl, waiting for the right time to give the answer. Love is patient. A person in love do not rush things. He or she waits for God's timing. Believe me, waiting pays off. It gives you more confidence. It gives you time to know the person you love more. It gives you time to think if you are really in love. God gives the perfect timing, believe me. He wants the perfect person for you. A lot deal better than the girl (or boy) of your dreams. So, wait and wait. Especially when you haven't fallen in love before. Do not rush it. God gives the best timing. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it said there is time for everything.
I say that teenage love is a gift from God. Making you experience having crushes, infatuation, "puppy love" and the like. You may have experienced this and also being hurt. I had experienced it, too. But, thank God, I still have not experienced being heart broken. I am not really good in this love matters. I am just telling you what I think in this subject. We may have different views on love.
An advice to guys, you must realize that you proboably won't marry your girlfriend or the girl you like, so you'd better treat her the way you would want a guy to treat the girl you will marry. I do not mean you should treat her as if you two are married. But show her respect, care and love. And never let your hormones get the better of you. You are stronger than the girl. Use your strength to protect the girl not to harm or pressure her (you know what I mean). To girls I advice that if you like a guy, please give hints (if you can't directly say it) that he is special than everybody else. And never seduce your boyfriend or the boy you like. Also never abuse the boy's patience or generosity. If both parties will do their part, it will be a great relationship.
A few parting words, facts that I learned in real life. A boy will not make a move if he will not see a sign of hope from the girl. Most girls looked their startling best and boys will become handsomer in the JS Prom. A person in love never can supress his or her smile and has glittering eyes. Flowers (I recommend white roses) are better things to give than chocolates. Being "torpe" is not that bad. The cellphone can become a handy gadget in communicating with someone you find hard to talk to. You will learn this and more when you are in the teenage love stage. Have a nice day!

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