Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!"

I was a Valentines Scrooge for years.  As far as a season for celebrating love (that possesses pagan origins in its traditions and a commercialized frame) is concerned, I pick Christmas over Valentines.  Indeed, since it celebrates the birth of the Greatest Lover in History, Christmas is, then, the true season for celebrating love.  What do we need Valentines for?  It pales in comparison with Christmas as a season of love and as a celebration overall.  Valentines actually does not celebrate the noble essence of love per se, but it actually centralizes on romance.  Yup, just romance.  Love can be romantic, but romance does not always translate to love at all.  Romance is an illusion.  It does make us feel good, but, usually, it’s not because of love.  It’s because of the high that romance gives us.  Therefore, I was never into Valentines because it overrates romance (how redundant is this statement?) and does not really deal much with love.  You want to celebrate love in its true spirit?  Do it on Christmas, or better yet, throughout the year.

I still stand on of what I have said above.  But, this year, I get to, at least, appreciate the Valentines spirit.  

No, I was not bitter before.  I was just not into Valentines.  In fact, same as the previous years, I also had no Valentines date this year.  But this year… well, I was in a state of “being in love” when February 14 hit.     

In love?  Really?  Let’s do a checklist… Am I exhilarated with her company?  Check.  Do I easily miss her even if I have just seen her earlier in the day?  Check.  Do her gaze and smile bedazzled me?  Check.  Does she make my heart beat in a way that it nearly requires for a crash cart?  Check.  Yes, it’s definitely textbook definition of “falling in love”.  That or it’s borderline sociopathic obsession.  Then again, those two are the same anyway, right? 

Seriously speaking though, as far as emotions go, I am definitely in love.  This is something nobody expected.  I never planned for this.  It was a bombshell for me, for her, and for everybody around us.  We have known each other for some time, but I never noticed that she is such an awesome individual.  Just recently, all of a sudden, I saw how wonderful, stunning, and lovely she really is.      
Is it “true love”?   Hmmm, I don’t know yet.  Do I believe in “true love”?  If “true love” means the “One” that has been prepared or destined by God to be one’s partner for life, then I do.  But to really determine if what I have now is “true love” is hard.  As far as feelings are concerned, I believe that the way you feel for “true love” is just the same as any romantic feeling there is since the emotions brought by being in love are all dependent on chemicals, like PEA, that are released by the body to bring such feelings.  So in a physiological sense, all types of “falling in love” – whether it’s true love, teenage love, puppy love, or mere infatuation – give the same kinds of emotions, maybe in different degrees or intensity, but the same kinds of emotions nonetheless.  The body will not release a previously dormant special chemical or trigger a special mental function to give you a “special feeling” when “true love” comes.   No, emotions for “falling in love” are uniform in all kinds.  Therefore, relying merely on emotions is not a true determinant for “true love”, there is no such “special feeling” for “true love”.   

How can “true love” be truly verified then if emotions are unreliable?  Well, since it is God who destines it, then it is God who reveals it in his perfect time.  I am still not sure how that will come about, but I am sure that’s how it works.   So until that God-set perfect time arrives that will make one truly absolutely sure, then it is best to wait… and wait… and wait… and more waiting.  And lots of fervent praying comes to play as well.  And those people who rash into things (i.e. relationships) regret it in the end.       

So, I may not yet know if it’s “true love” – if she is the “One” that God has prepared for me.  However, there is nothing wrong in honestly stating what I feel right now since it’s a reality.  I am in love (again, basing on emotions).  Very much in love. But my love is limited as a human love can be at this point.  A love that, sometimes, still wishes to be returned.  A love that I can’t enforce yet.  A love that still gets hurt.  A love that can’t assure the future (since I can’t see the future); taking into consideration the fact that romantic feelings do change in time. 

But, nonetheless, state it as it is… fact: I am in love.  I love her.  And she loves me.  Fortunately, she agrees with my own ideals and sentiments (which I had already stated above).  That’s why we decided to don’t hurry.  We wait (and wait and wait).  And pray (and pray and pray).  To have no commitments to each other and to not close doors.  To have no expectations.  To put our full hope in God and not on each other.  To continue to seek God’s will in our lives.  And, until then, we build and enjoy our friendship.   And I really appreciate and am really thankful for this friendship… and for her.       

And, oh, for the record, indeed, I haven’t had any Valentines date this year… but I did enjoy a post-Valentines date.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

chanced upon your blog and this post rang a bell 'cos i ponder about "true love" the same way you do. i feel that people love to rush into relationships and change them like they change clothes. that isn't love is it? it's good to take it slow and go with the flow but don't take too extremely long before you start anything as well, it will get frustrating after awhile. anyway, all the best with her! :)