Though it isn’t one of my all-time favorites, Kim Possible was
an animated series I enjoyed a lot from my late childhood into my teens. It had – as far as the extent of a kid’s
cartoon goes – exciting action, immersive storytelling, and smart humor. It also had a set of charming, well-realized
characters, and top of all are the eponymous Kim Possible, one of my most favorite female fictional characters ever, and her adorably clumsy sidekick who
secretly became a martial arts master, Ron Stoppable.
So, when I got wind that a live-action
Kim Possible Disney Channel Original Movie
was on the way, I had to groan. If a
live-action Kim Possible film has to
be made, it should be made for the big screen, for it has the kind of premise
and stature that deserves a legit budget and a theatrical release. Anything less would be sure-fire terrible. And this notion was simply confirmed to me
when the promotional photos and trailer were released. It looked extremely cheap and ridiculous.
Still, I proceeded to watch
it. There was no question in my mind
that it was going to be maddeningly inferior, but there was the chance that I
could enjoy it in an ironic sense.
I didn’t. It’s exactly as mindnumbingly dumb and disastrous
as I thought.
However, let me first mention
some things I got to like. First, the
CGI work on Rufus is surprisingly not
awful, and the CGI recreation of some settings from the cartoons was fine,
too. Second, there are some decent
chuckles here and there – one of them being a nice nod to Kim’s cartoon
costume. Third, although he was not
necessarily terrific, Sean Giabrone quickly won me over as live-action Ron
Stoppable. Among the cast, he seems to
be the only one aware of what was required of him in such kind of
movie (i.e. ham it up a bit). And
fourth, Christy Carlson Romano – OG Kim Possible –
makes a cameo.
Other than those, the rest of the
movie is a dumpster fire. As an action
comedy, neither the action nor the comedy sustains any lasting sense of fun. The overall aesthetic – considering its
running on a low budget – is poor. Live-action
Kim Possible doesn’t come close of being as arresting as her cartoon
counterpart, while live-action Drakken and
Shego look too old for the roles (I’ve seen cosplayers nailing the looks of the characters more strikingly). There’s
a new major character named Athena whose entire arc is obnoxiously predictable
and insipid. And except for the
aforementioned Sean Giabrone and Patton Oswalt, who was briefly at the start
reprising his role as Professor Dementor (he voiced the character in the
cartoon), all the actors take their roles too seriously – resulting to either
boring or cringe-worthy performances.
Meanwhile, the script is
stupid. There’s this subtle but
noticeable intention to pander on SJW sentiments (e.g. Kim picks up soccer instead
of cheerleading, Shego correcting Dakken that the “henchmen” are “henchwomen”,
etc.), and it seems like there’s more thought put into these than in making a
half-decent story. Essentially, its plotline
is a nonsensical, misguided mess of an attempt to reinvent Kim Possible. In fact, the
whole thing feels like a pilot for an intended live-action reboot of the show,
establishing a status quo for a new mythos and a starting point for a seasonal
story arc moving forward.
This brings me to wonder: Why was
this made in the first place? Who
thought it was a good idea? For whom was
it intended for? For the fans of the
cartoon? No way. From the get-go, it’s rather obvious that
such knockoff would only piss them off.
For a new generation to get into Kim
Possible? Surely, there’s more
efficient and less atrocious way of doing that, like reruns or a follow-up
animated film (which will also appeal to the old fans). I really can’t think of any valid reason for
this movie to exist.
Hopefully, this is the end of
it. Hopefully, Disney Channel won’t think
of doing some further defiling of Kim
Possible.
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