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Sunday, March 10, 2019

Live-Action 'Kim Possible' TV Movie Is a Dumpster Fire

Though it isn’t one of my all-time favorites, Kim Possible was an animated series I enjoyed a lot from my late childhood into my teens.  It had – as far as the extent of a kid’s cartoon goes – exciting action, immersive storytelling, and smart humor.  It also had a set of charming, well-realized characters, and top of all are the eponymous Kim Possible, one of my most favorite female fictional characters ever, and her adorably clumsy sidekick who secretly became a martial arts master, Ron Stoppable.

So, when I got wind that a live-action Kim Possible Disney Channel Original Movie was on the way, I had to groan.  If a live-action Kim Possible film has to be made, it should be made for the big screen, for it has the kind of premise and stature that deserves a legit budget and a theatrical release.  Anything less would be sure-fire terrible.  And this notion was simply confirmed to me when the promotional photos and trailer were released.  It looked extremely cheap and ridiculous.

Still, I proceeded to watch it.  There was no question in my mind that it was going to be maddeningly inferior, but there was the chance that I could enjoy it in an ironic sense.
I didn’t.  It’s exactly as mindnumbingly dumb and disastrous as I thought.

However, let me first mention some things I got to like.  First, the CGI work on Rufus is surprisingly not awful, and the CGI recreation of some settings from the cartoons was fine, too.  Second, there are some decent chuckles here and there – one of them being a nice nod to Kim’s cartoon costume.  Third, although he was not necessarily terrific, Sean Giabrone quickly won me over as live-action Ron Stoppable.  Among the cast, he seems to be the only one aware of what was required of him in such kind of movie (i.e. ham it up a bit).  And fourth, Christy Carlson Romano – OG Kim Possible – makes a cameo.

Other than those, the rest of the movie is a dumpster fire.  As an action comedy, neither the action nor the comedy sustains any lasting sense of fun.  The overall aesthetic – considering its running on a low budget – is poor.  Live-action Kim Possible doesn’t come close of being as arresting as her cartoon counterpart, while live-action Drakken and Shego look too old for the roles (I’ve seen cosplayers nailing the looks of the characters more strikingly).  There’s a new major character named Athena whose entire arc is obnoxiously predictable and insipid.  And except for the aforementioned Sean Giabrone and Patton Oswalt, who was briefly at the start reprising his role as Professor Dementor (he voiced the character in the cartoon), all the actors take their roles too seriously – resulting to either boring or cringe-worthy performances.
Meanwhile, the script is stupid.  There’s this subtle but noticeable intention to pander on SJW sentiments (e.g. Kim picks up soccer instead of cheerleading, Shego correcting Dakken that the “henchmen” are “henchwomen”, etc.), and it seems like there’s more thought put into these than in making a half-decent story.  Essentially, its plotline is a nonsensical, misguided mess of an attempt to reinvent Kim Possible.  In fact, the whole thing feels like a pilot for an intended live-action reboot of the show, establishing a status quo for a new mythos and a starting point for a seasonal story arc moving forward.

This brings me to wonder: Why was this made in the first place?  Who thought it was a good idea?  For whom was it intended for?  For the fans of the cartoon?  No way.  From the get-go, it’s rather obvious that such knockoff would only piss them off.  For a new generation to get into Kim Possible?  Surely, there’s more efficient and less atrocious way of doing that, like reruns or a follow-up animated film (which will also appeal to the old fans).  I really can’t think of any valid reason for this movie to exist.

Hopefully, this is the end of it.  Hopefully, Disney Channel won’t think of doing some further defiling of Kim Possible.

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