The Oscars are just a few days away, and as I’ve mentioned in my “Bernels” for the Small Screen of 2013, the
“Bernels” for movies of 2013 is set to tie-in with the Oscars’ seasons. So this is it. It’s time for another informal movie awards
based on my movie standards and tastes.
You might notice that the categories are mostly different from last year’s. That is to be expected, since
the “Bernels” is inconsistent and informal, merely catering to my personal
whims, biases, and preferences; it’s just for fun!
Also, as what was made precedent
in the last year’s “Bernels”, movies of the previous year that I’ve only been
able to watch after I’ve already made
my list for the year’s top movies are qualified for the awards. Hence, 2013 movies like Frozen, Grudge Match, 47 Ronin, and About Time, which I was only able to get the chance to watch in
early 2014 (from January 1 up to the time of writing), are all included in the
considerations for the “Bernels” along with the 2013 movies that I’ve got to see
in 2013.
BEST MOVIE: Frozen
If I had been able to see Frozen during 2013, it would have been number
one in my “top movies of 2013” list. Yes,
it’s my favorite 2013 film. I like it so
much that, as of writing, I have seen it thrice already.
Frozen was something fresh and different as it avoided most of the
obvious clichés and tropes one would expect from such kind of animated feature. Therefore, there was the presence of legitimate,
unexpected twists which added to the overall amazing quality of the movie. I found it a bit more sophisticated than previous
Disney animated movies.
In a thematic level, this movie
contains enough depth that different metaphors – ranging from Christianity to
homosexuality – have been derived from it.
Moreover, it has been refreshing to be reminded that “finding true love”
is not always about the romantic variety and how “love at first sight” is
usually superficial and unreliable.
Frozen was a stunning and delightful film that has a fascinating
story, appealing characters, fine humor, fantastic visuals, and stirring
musical numbers. If ever I have included
some BEST ANIMATED MOVIE and BEST MUSICAL categories, the “Bernels” for those
will go to Frozen as well.
A Frozen 2 NEEDS to happen!
BEST MOVIE HERO: Odd Thomas (Odd Thomas)
I thoroughly enjoyed Anton
Yelchin’s portrayal of the “Odd One” – that in a year that gave us great and
memorable male movie heroes like Asa Butterfield's Ender Wiggin, Martin Freeman’s Bilbo
Baggins, Robert Downey’s Iron Man, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson’s Roadblock, Brad Pitt’s Gerry Lane, George
Clooney’s Matt Kowalski, and Vin Diesel’s Riddick – my pick is still Yelchin’s Odd Thomas. Yelchin has fantastically did everything
right in bringing to life in the big screen all the necessary character elements
that made Odd Thomas the fascinating and loveable character I’ve encountered in
the novels.
Runner-ups: Tony Stark/Iron Man (Iron Man 3), Roadblock (G.I.
Joe: Retaliation), Riddick (Riddick),
Gerry Lane (World War Z), Matt
Kowalski (Gravity), Ender Wiggin (Ender’s Game), Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug)
BEST MOVIE HEROINE: Elsa (Frozen)
As soon as I’ve finished watching
Frozen, it was clear to me that Elsa
is not only a unique Disney princess and one of the most fantastic ice-powered fictional characters ever, but that I also find her a more interesting
character than Katniss Everdeen, last year’s winner and who was set to repeat
if it wasn’t for Elsa.
Runner-up: Katniss Everdeen (Catching Fire)
BEST MOVIE VILLAIN: Khan Noonien
Singh a.k.a. John Harrison (Star Trek
Into Darkness)
I like Benedict Cumberbatch’s
Khan more than the original one; his portrayal was more charismatic, badass,
and engaging. He was one of the major
reasons why Into Darkness has been awesome. Khan has been an enjoyably
magnetic villain, and no other male movie villain in 2013 ever came close of
becoming as interesting as Cumberbatch’s Khan. Not even Tom Hiddleton’s charismatic Loki or
Lee-Byung Hun’s badass Storm Shadow.
BEST MOVIE VILLAINESS: Faora-Ul (Man of Steel)
In Man of Steel, Faora is a ruthless and skilled warrior that serves
as General Zod’s lieutenant. But in
spite of being a secondary villain, she proved to be more captivating, more
menacing, and more kickass than Zod, the actual main villain. Heck, she was even probably the most
interesting character in the entire movie.
Seriously. Kick Ass 2’s Mother Russia might be a brutal, badass villainess
like Faora but she’s far from being as appealing and dominant.
Runner-ups: the possessed Mia
Allen (Evil Dead), Mother Russia (Kick Ass 2), Mizuki (47 Ronin)
BEST MOVIE DUO: Roadblock &
Duke (G.I. Joe: Retaliation)
Even if the movie had turned out
revolving around these two characters, I would have been okay with that. The Rock and Iron Mike possessed great
chemistry together; they were awesomely funny.
Too bad, Duke got killed. I wish
they will revive him for the 3rd movie.
Runner-up: Burt Wonderstone &
Anton Marvelton (The Incredible Burt
Wonderstone); Special Agent Sarah Ashburn & Detective Shannon Mullins (The Heat)
BEST CAMEO: Captain America (Thor: The Dark World)
I greatly appreciate this
cameo. Seeing Chris Evans mimicking Tom
Hiddleston’s Loki mimicking Chris Evans’ Captain America (that’s how that scene
was shot) was a real treat.
MOST OVERRATED MOVIE: This is the End
This movie was generally
well-received by critics, but I found it awful.
Oh, I admit, that there were a couple of things I found hilarious about
the movie (e.g. the respective cameo scenes of Michael Cera and Emma
Watson). Still, overall, I found that
the humor of this movie was seemingly dependent on the narrative getting too vulgar
and undignified, which I found appalling and disgustingly desperate for
laughs.
MOST UNDERRATED MOVIE: Now You See Me
Critics hated it. But I loved it. It was my choice for best movie of 2013
before I got to watch Frozen. I found Now
You See Me a smart, entertaining, and thrilling “magic show.” I’m at a loss why the critics didn’t like
it. Really. Every second of this movie has been pretty
engaging.
BEST “MORE-THAN-I-HAD-EXPECTED”
MOVIE: About Time
The widow of Henry DeTamble hooks up again with another time traveler, this time, a clone of Bill Weasley
in possession of a Time Turner.
That’s what I originally thought
how the movie will look like.
I thought that this was to be
your usual RomCom with time travel as plot device. But I was mistaken with that
presumption. About Time is actually something that has more depth than
that. It was thoughtful and witty, and I
greatly enjoyed it.
In fact, the romance, and the
protagonist’s usage of his abilities to win the girl of his dreams, though it was
an integral part of the narrative, was never the real heart of the story. The main theme was basically about family,
living life with no regrets and getting the most out of it, and the importance
of wise decisions.
BEST “EQUALLY-GOOD-AND-BAD”
MOVIE: 47 Ronin
47 Ronin received negative reception from critics but I was never the
kind of guy that agrees with critics anyway.
I have my own standards. And by
my own standards, I can’t exactly tell what I feel about this movie. I certainly do not hate it. But I’m not praising it either.
It got great swordfights and visuals. But it also felt lacking, untidy, and having
too much of Keanu Reeves’ character being forced on us. The story was merely passable – it had unnecessary
and uninspired parts, but it also had some traces of the script being one to
two re-writes away from becoming epic.
It felt both compelling and annoying.
I can’t really explain it properly, except that, to me, it felt like the
awesome and the awful in this movie just cancelled each other out. It was equally good and bad.
Overall, it is still a movie worth watching, if you have some extra time, but not the kind of movie that needed to be prioritized.
MOST DISAPPOINTING MOVIE: The Lone Ranger
I really wanted this movie to be
good. The Lone Ranger is such an iconic character
and it would have been great for him to have a healthy movie presence in modern
pop culture. Unfortunately, Lone Ranger has been a big, insane mess.
Oh, I found it entertaining overall – having Johnny Depp as Toto guarantees
that it’s going to be weird but entertaining – but it was still some messy
entertainment. I found the movie
confused on what kind of mood it would want to go. It was underwhelming at times, and then
overwhelming at times. There were
instances in which it seems to be treading on the path towards something epic,
but there were also significant instances wherein it was purely crazy – and not the
good kind of “crazy” but the awful kind.
It was constantly fluctuating between extremes, that in the end, it just
felt mediocre.
MOST HILARIOUS MOVIE: Grudge Match
There was no other 2013 movie
that made me laugh as hard as Grudge
Match. Really. Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro had
wonderful comedic chops, and with the help of funny supporting cast members Kevin
Hart and Alan Arkin, this movie was enriched with several hilarious scenes and
dialogues. There is a good possibility that this movie could have made my top movie lists for 2013 if I had just been able to see it last year; for not only was it
packed with hilarity, it also has a good story that is chock-full of
heart.
Runner-Ups: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Despicable Me 2, The Croods, Monster University
BEST “IT’S-SO-BAD-THAT-IT’S-GOOD”
MOVIE: Sharnado
I guarantee that this movie is
going to be one of the most god-awful movies you will ever watch. But I don’t think you will be bored nor regret
watching it.
Sharknado’s quality is your typical Asylum – cheap, nonsensical, and,
most importantly, deliberately intended to be bad. The narrative pace and scene transitions are
messy, inconsistent, and disorganized. The
CGI is horrible. The script, directing,
and cinematography are very poor. The premise of sharks being brought by storm
surges and then tornadoes is just too ridiculously crazy, and it’s loaded with batshit,
implausible happenings.
But because of these, it
ironically became watchable. I couldn’t
stop groaning and snickering with every scene, but I couldn’t stop watching
either. Its awfulness, dumbness, and
insanity made it hilarious. This is the
kind of stuff Mystery Science Theatre 3000 can lampoon the best and mine comedy
gold from. And that’s the charm of this
movie. You could almost hear the
sarcastic and ridiculing commentary from the MST3000 guys… and then you’ll
realize that you’re the one actually doing it
BEST DANCE SCENE: New Year’s
Party Dancing (About Time)
This scene was during the early
part of the movie, in the New Year’s Eve Party – the evening before the
protagonist learned from his father that he can travel back to the past. This was definitely one of the funniest
scenes I’ve encountered in 2013.
Domhnall Gleeson’s character found himself with an undesirable dance
partner as Sugababes’ “Push the Button” plays in the background. The awkward dancing and troubled look on his
face were just priceless.
MOST BADASS MOMENT: A chained Riddick beheads someone using just his foot! (Riddick)
To merely describe it, won’t do
it justice. You have to watch it for
yourself to see how awesome it was. But
here’s what transpired: Among the bounty
hunters that went hunting for Riddick, the leader of the first group of bounty
hunters (there were two) was big A-hole, who earned Riddick’s wrath after he
killed Riddick’s dog-like pet and by just being a constant A-hole. Riddick was eventually captured, and while he
was chained, he threatened the Big A-hole bounty hunter that if he ever gets
off his restraints, within five seconds (I think, I forgot the exact number), he would cut off his head, and then put
it in the container that the Big A-hole intended for Riddick’s severed
head. All within his promised five seconds. Indeed, later on, with just the shackles on a
foot taken off, Riddick was able to make true of his threat. Again, describing it won’t do it
justice. You have to see the entire
sequence to understand its epicness.
BEST ACTION-PACKED MOMENT: Jaegers
vs. Kaijus (Pacific Rim)
This is self-explanatory. Every monstrous, badass battle between
Jaegers and Kaijus were simply unmatched and tremendously gratifying.
Runner-ups: House Party Protocol (Iron Man 3); Jack Wilder vs. Dylan
Rhodes and the FBI – especially the part the part where Wilder weaponized some cards into
projectiles (Now You See Me)
BEST MUSICAL NUMBER: “Let It Go”
(Frozen)
“Let It Go” is a powerful
song. But it was only in its rendition by
Queen Elsa in Frozen in which I find
it extremely moving. I checked out Demi
Lovato’s version, both the music video and the live performance, and found it
unremarkable; its arrangement sounded synthetic and inferior to the brilliant
arrangement of the rendition done in Frozen,
which wonderfully articulated the musical emotion appropriate for the
song. And even when Idina Menzel –
speaking and singing voice of Elsa – sang it live, it doesn’t measure up to
Elsa’s performance in that iconic Frozen sequence;
probably because the glorious visual display of Elsa’s ice magic was accompanying
the music and it significantly enhanced the impact of the song.
I totally adore Elsa’s “Let It
Go” scene. As I’ve mentioned earlier,
I’ve watched Frozen thrice
already. But I’ve gone to watch the “Let
It Go” part of the movie at least a dozen times.
MOST UNEXPECTED TWIST: The
“Mandarin” was a stone-head actor hired by the main villain to be a dummy (Iron Man 3)
This development has been pretty
controversial. Reception has been
polarizing. My very own feelings about
it were mixed. I’m kind of disappointed
that a real Mandarin with powered-rings has not been portrayed in the big
screen. On the other hand, I also enjoyed
and appreciated how this astonishing and amusing development came out of
nowhere and blew everyone’s mind.
MOST SHOCKING MOMENT: Kal-El
breaks Zod’s neck (Man of Steel)
BIGGEST MOVIE-RELATED NEWS:
Batman vs. Superman!!!
There’s probably no bigger movie
news in 2013 than this. Or, at least, no
other movie news in 2013 that got me more excited than this. I’ve always wanted a Batman/Superman movie to happen. (I’ve already discussed more about this, along with other Justice League-related developments)
Runner-Ups: Veronica Mars movie was made possible by Kickstarter, Warcraft movie
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